Even the most loving and faithful couples eventually face a cooling of passion, a decrease in desire, and an important question arises: how to diversify sex? It’s not that feelings become weaker, it’s just that monotony and routine reduce passion.
Where to start?
The very first tip for couples who feel monotonous in their intimate lives is to try to look at your loved one as if from the outside. When you see your spouse every day, spend a lot of time with him or her, you begin to think that you know almost everything about him or her.
In fact, it is impossible to know a person to the smallest detail, to get inside his head, many things remain unattainable even for spouses. This applies to sex, too. Everyone has fantasies, secret desires, about which he can be silent. The easiest and most accessible way is to have a casual, trusting conversation about topics:
- How the spouse sees a sexually diverse life.
- What she/he would like to experience and try.
- What positions the partner likes, what new caresses would like to experience.
Such a conversation is best arranged on a romantic, quiet evening. A good dinner with candles and a glass of wine can liberate even a modest, reserved person.
If the couple came to an agreement during a confidential conversation, you can try to think together about some ways to liven up the intimacy. Sometimes a surprise that introduces the effect of surprise can be useful. It is worth trying to do something together.
Choose a new intimate accessory together, for example. Or watch an erotic movie together. Spending time together like this can reveal new facets of your partner that you didn’t know about before.
According to the reaction to the choice of a toy or to the plot of the movie you can understand what preferences your spouse has, to diversify sex. This will greatly facilitate all further actions, give new ideas on how to make intimate life more vivid and rich.
How to diversify sex for married couples
Husbands who want to add variety and fire to their sex life with their spouse can try the following ways.
Change the environment
Sex becomes routine when it happens in the same place year after year. It is worth swapping your marriage bed for a hotel room, nature, train compartment, bathroom, etc. Such entertainment with your wife can give the feeling that intimacy is happening for the first time
Change your usual appearance, style or behavior. A great surprise for the wife will be the reincarnation of a serious office worker into a brutal biker, capable of conquering any beauty.
Toys for adults
The assortment of such things is great. You can pick up any device that will please both spouses. Toys can bring additional sensations and make intimacy unusual.
Sometimes you can use some household items for the experiment. But still, quality toys, from a good intimate store, can greatly improve the quality of sexual life.
The main thing is not to save on their quality, so as not to harm yourself or your loved one. It will be interesting to be together in the choice of accessories. So you can discuss in advance which options are possible and which are prohibited. This will help you get to know your partner and his preferences better.
An attempt at abstinence
This method seems rather strange. But often satiety comes from the constant sexual availability of the spouse. Not for nothing sexologists advise to sleep separately, preferably even in separate rooms and to come to each other “to visit” when there is a strong desire.
They explain this by the fact that the produced pheromones impregnate the bed, dulling the sensuality through habituation. When spouses spend time (sleep) apart, the receptors begin to perceive pheromones with renewed vigor.
There is a lot of evidence to support this theory. Spouses, one of whom has regular business trips, long absences from the bosom of the family, longer remains passion in the relationship. Or if one spouse is forced to live with his parents (for example, for their health) and meet with his half from time to time, as if to go on a date with his wife.
Guest Marriage
Guest marriages in this day and age, where spouses have their own jobs, personal hobbies, and finances, no longer seem absurd. Guest marriage is when spouses live at their own place and go to each other’s place as a date, not staying overnight every night.
Lead a life style, which is convenient for them, not adjusting to the partner in matters of everyday life. They arrange their apartment as they like, cook and eat what they want, not what the man prefers. Maybe one of them is a nightingale, the other a lark and they have different biorhythms. One is neat, the other does not like to keep order at all.
One has a cat and a dog in the house, the other doesn’t like animals in the house. They meet and make love here and there, go on vacation together, go visiting, have fun. In such marriages the passion is always at a high level.
In addition the spouses avoid everyday quarrels, scandals and they are always in a good mood, strong nerves, which especially increases the mutual attraction.
Games
Everyone has sexual fantasies. People play hundreds of different roles in their dreams. You can borrow one of them to use in real life. For example, a humble student with a strict teacher. Or a policeman with a criminal. Role-playing helps to look at the spouse in a different way.
Erotic fantasies. Such a game you can think up yourself or buy in a store. The idea is to take out random pieces of paper with sexual tasks and take turns performing them. This game can unlock sexual potential, break down shyness, and lead to experimentation.
What a wife can do to diversify sex with her husband
If a wife sees that her husband is beginning to lose interest in sex with her, it is necessary to take immediate action and add fire to intimacy. Options:
Change her appearance.
There is a controversial but fairly common theory that all men are polygamous and desire to prey on many different women. Any girl can give her lover such a chance. A new style, a new hairstyle or even a wig, an unexpected makeup – this will create a sense of novelty. For a complete entry into the image, you can change manners or add a small accent to the speech.
A change of scenery
To make sex with your husband more interesting, you need to get out of the bedroom and go for a sexual experience somewhere else. In a park, in the woods, away from prying eyes or visiting friends in another city, country, in a sanatorium.
Water increases the sensation of intimacy. So, a good option (if the couple has not done this before), will be a joint bath with candles and foam. It will give a sense of weightlessness, the lightness of what is happening.
Sex shops sell special cosmetics that make water look like gel, which increases gliding and gives unusual tactile sensations.
You can surprise your spouse by joining him in the shower. A spicy highlight would be wearing a T-shirt or his T-shirt on his naked body – when wet, it will emphasize his breasts and nipples.
Attracting third parties
If a woman is confident enough in her attractiveness, you can try a threesome or call a stripper at home. Who will be the third person in bed, whether the spouse likes striptease, it is better to discuss these points in advance.
There is a stereotype that men dream of having two women at once. This is not always the case, many do not accept strangers in bed and even just in the house.
Correspondence, photos
With the development of Internet technology, there is a new opportunity to stir up passion with erotic correspondence and candid photos. If you please your spouse in the middle of the day with piquant photos or intimate messages, he will look forward to seeing you in the evening.
Masquerade
If you meet your loved one from work in an unexpected sexy costume, you will get a great surprise. The choice of costumes for such a game is great.
In adult stores you can find different options of a sexy nurse, pussycat, passionate mistress, wise geisha. The choice depends on your spouse’s sexual preferences.
Immodest conversations
Do not be silent during sex, indulging in it silently with a focused expression. If during intimacy, have a spicy conversation, comment on the actions, describe feelings and desires – the difference will be felt.
No need to be shy in expressions, even dirty phrases at such moments do not look vulgar, but on the contrary, can excite. Lascivious conversations will be appropriate both before and during sex.
You can’t forget about appearances.
Many men convince their wives that they do not pay attention to the lack of waxing or what kind of underwear she is wearing, whether her head is washed, whether she uses perfume. Perhaps at the beginning of a relationship when passion blazes, these little things can be true not to notice.
But when the spouse is neglecting the appearance for years, while not getting younger and losing attractiveness over the years more and more, it begins to catch the eye. Over time, such shortcomings begin to overshadow the virtues.
You need to take care of yourself at any age or condition. Pregnancy, child care, retirement, or working remotely – all this is not a reason to neglect taking care of your appearance.
It is necessary to wear beautiful lingerie, attractive clothes at home, home shoes with a small heel, to use a perfume pleasant for her husband (this is important, if the scents are suffocating, nothing good will come out). A sexy wife will not bore her husband.
Conclusion:
There are many ways to regain attraction. Either method is good if both spouses agree to such experiments. When one of them is against it, you should not insist, force, bring in as a surprise.
So not everyone will like the idea of threesomes. Or going out together in society, when the spouse, to tickle the nerves of her husband, purposely puts on too “naked” clothes, attracting everyone’s attention.
This can not excite, and cause shame for his woman, which is almost a finger pointed at. In a sex shop there is no need to insist on anal toys, if the other half does not accept it. The main thing in impromptu sex is to be on the same page and not to impose your vision of passionate intimacy.